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Achieving Self-Compassion Blog

Useful information and resources for you

The Portals Into Self-Compassion

I grew up in a Quaker family where I was taught to serve others and consequently became a social worker which has brought great meaning into my life. However, until recently, I was never as good to myself as I was to others. As a result, I often felt depleted and even “burned out.” Fortunately, I listened to the wisdom of my teenage son and began to take better care of myself and treat myself with the same compassion I had for others.

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Overcoming Male Shame

The toughest challenge I have experienced in my life is ridding myself of the pervasive shame I have experienced from my childhood. Although my father was viewed as a saint by many because of his passion for creating world peace, he did not demonstrate his benevolence on the home front.

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We Are All Inherently Worthwhile

If you do not feel worthwhile, you may suffer from depression, torment yourself with self-criticism and/or lack the confidence you need to get where you want to in your life. 

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Give Yourself the Gift of Inner Peace

You probably experience some level of stress as you grapple to overcome the challenges you face and meet your responsibilities.

In fact, you may believe that you need this stress to motivate you to accomplish your goals or make the changes you want in your life. However, this is not the case. Stress only depletes your energy and serves no purpose outside of dangerous situations when your limbic system automatically becomes activated to help you protect yourself.

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Smart People Are Not Better!

Dumb, stupid, idiotic - these words that I hear every day haunt me because they expose the prejudice that exists towards people who are perceived to not be smart.

If this prejudice did not exist, these words would have no power and therefore never be used. This would be fine with me since I experience them like fingernails on a blackboard!

The belief that intelligent people are superior to others is so deeply ingrained that it is simply viewed as a fact by most people and rarely questioned.

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The Magic of Total Appreciation

Most of us know that a major portal to happiness is to appreciate the good things in our lives.  Whether we are marveling at the unconditional love our dogs give us, the comfort of pulling the blankets up to our neck on a cold winter's night or the joy of reconnecting to an old friend, our ability to bask in life's pleasures significantly improves the quality of our precious time on this earth.

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It is Not Selfish to Be Self-Compassionate

 When I tell people I have written a book on achieving self-compassion, they often ask, "Isn't it selfish to be self-compassionate?"

I always respond that there is nothing selfish about being our own best friend, knowing we are inherently worthy, choosing happiness or enjoying the present moment, which are the cornerstones of self-compassion.

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